


On the Kitchen Floor

by jb_ladybug



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany), SKAM (TV) RPF
Genre: Davenzi, Depression, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 19:50:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18350531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jb_ladybug/pseuds/jb_ladybug
Summary: Matteo suffers a depressive episode and learns that his friends are there for him no matter what.





	On the Kitchen Floor

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure where in the storyline this would fall but it's cute and I like it so I don't care.

Matteo’s head nodded onto his chest a little too fast, waking him from what would have been the first time he had slept in days. Whenever Hans or Mia or Linn, or even one time Jonas, came to check on him he would pretend to sleep. It was just easier that way. But he never actually did. He wished he could. Escaping his waking mind, if only for a few hours, sounded like bliss. He should have known better. Good things didn’t happen to him. 

A gentle knock on the door, “Butterfly?”

Matteo sank lower into his bed and closed his eyes again, continuing the ruse he wished could be the truth. 

“Someone’s here to see you.”

Please no.

He couldn’t stand that the boys were worried about him, but he just couldn’t bring himself to respond to any of their texts. He hadn’t even opened his eyes when Jonas had come to visit, despite the other boy knowing fully well that he hadn’t been asleep. 

“He’s probably sleeping.” Hans hushed voice drifted through the room, his closed door muffling the sound even more.

“Jonas said he pretends to be asleep when he doesn’t want to talk to anyone, but that that’s usually when he needs to talk to someone the most. Apparently he did the same thing when his parents split up.”

No. No, not him. Anyone but David. 

David was the one person Matteo wanted more than anything in the world right now, so naturally he was the one person that he really did not want to see. Things had just started to settle down between the two of them, David couldn’t know about this part of him. He wasn’t ready for that yet.

Matteo could hear as his bedroom door creaked open, but kept his eyes closed. David didn’t know him as well as Jonas did. Maybe if he just laid there long enough David would think he actually was sleeping and leave him alone. The mattress next to him sank as David sat down. The door clicked shut. 

“I know you’re not asleep, and it’s ok if you don’t want to talk yet, but I’m here if you want to. I’ve got all night.”

Shit. 

He didn’t want this. He didn’t want this body, or this brain, or this life, he didn’t want the one person who meant everything to him sitting there pitying him, he didn’t want to be in this room, he didn’t want to be anywhere. He didn’t want to be anything. So he just lay there, not being anything. 

The sun set. 

Matteo could see the moon through his bedroom window. Funny, he didn’t remember opening his eyes.

He couldn’t see the moon anymore. 

His left arm went numb. He didn’t care.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

Whose breath was that? It wasn’t his.

David.

David was still laying next to him. Odd, everyone else had left by now.

Gray.

Gold.

Light blue.

He knew it was beautiful. Somehow that made it worse.

Tap tap.

The bed moved under him.

David.

“How is he?” Hans whispered. He wasn’t dying, why were they talking about him like he was? 

“I don’t think he even moved all night.” David sounded tired, had he slept at all? Matteo assumed he had, but suddenly he wasn’t so sure.

Great. 

One more thing for him to feel bad about. As if there weren’t enough.

“I’m going to make breakfast. See if you can get him to eat any.”

“I will.”

David looked so good. 

David had stayed. 

David looked surprised.

“Hey. I didn’t hear you turn around.” Maybe that’s why. “Hans is gonna make some breakfast, he didn’t say what, you think you could eat something?”

No.

The bed sank as David lay back down next to him. Looking at him. Was that pity in his eyes? Concern? He didn’t like that. He didn’t like the puffy, dark bags under his eyes either. Talking was too much but he had to ask. He brushed his pointer finger, still painfully de-numbing, gently across the bags on the other boys face, he wasn’t even sure if he actually touched him. But David seemed to understand. 

“I didn’t want you to be ready to talk but not have anyone to listen.”

Too much. 

Too much guilt. Too much pain. Too many emotions he didn’t have names for. Too much that he couldn’t feel just seconds ago, crashing down on him full force. Drowning him. Spilling over. Leaking from his eyes, ripping out of his throat. His sobs felt like screams, and screaming felt good. 

But David was there. David who had stayed with him. David who had stayed awake for him. David who pulled him into a hug and let him cry into his chest. Let him cry until there was nothing left in him. David who still didn’t press him to talk after he was done crying. David who just held him, firmly but gently.

David who was still there when he woke up.

When had he fallen asleep? How long had he slept for? What time was it now? What day was it now?

It was night. The darkness in his room and David’s soft, even breathing told him that much. Good. He had slept too. Matteo hated that David hadn’t slept because of him. 

He reached over to his bedside table for his phone. 

5:37 a.m.

He had slept for almost an entire 24 hours?

Nice.

A positive thought. An almost smile. Finally it was ending.

Matteo rolled over to face David again. God he was so beautiful. He couldn’t help but reach a hand up, run his fingers through David’s thick, dark curls. He loved those curls so much.

David’s eyes opened lazily, he was smiling. He was beautiful.

“Sorry.” Matteo’s voice was hoarse from sleep and disuse, he wasn’t sure David could even hear him. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“I’m glad you did. It’s nice to hear your voice again.” Matteo huffed an almost laugh. “And I missed that smile.” His face fell.

“Sorry you had to see that.” He meant it. He thought that with how good he felt around David, when they had finally gotten together that this would all go away. He never meant for him to see him like that.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Matteo sighed. “There’s nothing to talk about really. It just happens sometimes.”

“Nothing happened, then? Nothing to trigger it or anything?” David sounded genuinely concerned. He wanted to know. He wanted to help. He couldn’t help.

“Not really.” An uncomfortable rumbling in his stomach gave him the perfect excuse to change the subject. “I’m hungry.”

“Let’s go get breakfast.” 

Matteo almost argued that it was too early for breakfast, but the slight gray light creeping in behind him from the window told him he was wrong. They were up, it was morning, it might as well be breakfast time.

He didn’t remember the walk to the kitchen being so exhausting, and slumped down on to the floor as soon as they entered, back leaning against the lower cabinets.

David gave him a sort of puzzled look. “You comfy, or do you wanna maybe sit at the table?”

Matteo knew he was trying to banter, but he was still too drained to engage. “Nah I’m good here.”

David almost argued, but decided better of it and went about making breakfast, paying no mind to the names assigned to various food items. He took eggs from Mia’s shelf in the fridge, bacon from Hans’, pancake mix that had Linn’s name written on it in all caps. Milk, fruit, juice, syrup, none of it Matteo’s, but David seemed to be making enough food to feed the whole flatshare, so most likely no one would mind.

The entire flat smelled of bacon and maple syrup by the time David was done. He prepared two plates completely loaded with food, and two full glasses of orange juice for them before joining Matteo on the floor, sitting directly across from him.

“I didn’t know you could cook.” Matteo mumbled, staring at the plate David had just handed him.

“Yeah, I do.” David answered him simply, tucking into his own plate.

“It looks really good.” 

“It tastes pretty good too.” David prompted. He couldn’t bring himself to move. “You need to eat Matteo.”

“I want to. It’s just… hard.” He had just woken up and yet somehow he was still just as tired as he had been before. 

“One bite. That’s all I’m asking for. You think you can manage that?”

“Just one?”

“Just one.”

Matteo looked at the plate sitting on his lap. Bacon looked easiest, he didn’t need a fork for bacon. He went for the bacon. One bite. He could do that. One bite. 

It was a pretty good bite. 

David smiled. “We can save the rest for later if you want.”

Before Matteo could answer, a confused looking Hans appeared in the kitchen doorway, “Huh?” 

They must look ridiculous. “I made breakfast.” David told Hans. “Sorry, I kinda used everyone’s stuff, but I made enough for everyone so… I mean, I hope that’s ok?”

“Yeah that’s fine. Why are you on the floor? And why are you up so early, it’s not even 7 yet?” Hans asked, not waiting for an answer to his first question.

David looked at him questioningly, but he just shook his head. He didn’t want to answer the question himself, so David answered for him, “Matteo wanted to sit on the floor.”

“Oh.” Hans was still fairly confused, Matteo could tell, but he didn’t ask anything else. Instead, he grabbed a plate for himself, filled a glass of orange juice, and sat down on the floor next to Matteo. 

By the time Linn, Mia, and Alex joined them, David and Hans had long since finished their breakfasts and Matteo had managed to eat about a quarter of his. Looking around at his friends, all sitting on the kitchen floor in a show of silent support for him, Matteo couldn’t help but smile, a true, genuine smile, for the first time in days.


End file.
